"What did you just call me, boy?"

In a world where political correctness is more prevalant than political honestly, I can’t help but think what the undead would want to be called. Zombie seems very derogatory like the equivalent of the n-word.

It’s something people would call them in anger right before blowing their head off i.e ”take that you dirty zombie scum” or “get your damn zombie hands off her” or even better “don’t let go zombie Jack.” Alright, that last one is just because I hated Leonardo Dicraprio. How many people were glad his ass stayed dead after sinking in Titanic, but I digress.

Would they undead take offense to that? What would happen if they were  eating on your brother and you said “You zombie bastards.” Would they stop with entrails hanging from their lips to give you a dejected look like “What did I ever do to you” or “Do we really have to resort to name calling, I don’t go around calling you snack do I?” I know zombie is used heavily throughout my site, but it is used in the most respectful way and if I offend any of the undead reading my blog feel free to e-mail me.

Then there is the living dead and the undead. They seem like pretty neutral terms although not every zombie will be happy with them. Purists won’t want to have any connection to the living and will feel slighted by the term living dead. “Listen, I may be shamling corpse hellbent on devouring human flesh, but I am not living. You insensitive prick.” I am sure the purists would be an elitest bunch that only feed on the upper crust of society .

Undead is my favorite and you will see me use it throughout the site as well. While I am sure you can have a lively debate with the undead on the precise definition of death and how it pertains to reanimated corpses, I don’t think they can find any fault with the terminology. Especially, if it is right before they eat you, but then I guess you can call them anything you want. I am simply talking during civilized conversation.